Hope
by Tishikari
Summary: Luka thinks about Yuki - past and present - and asks: why?... Something still needing to be answered.


**Author's note:**

This is a short oneshot in Luka's POV [not easy to go inside his mind! LOL]. I hope it's not out of character…

I wanted to write about Luka's feelings… one night I got the inspiration when listening to the song "Far from the Edge" by Elysion - check it out on youtube before reading - /watch?v=QEex5LtuZxs

This fic's theme isn't new…but I wanted to give my share on it. ^_^

I also want to thank all the readers who gave me such positive reviews to my other fic "The Opast's Kiss". I'm so surprised (and much, much happy) for that, thank you, thank you! :D 3

I'll keep writing about girl-Yuki and Luka, my fave pairing. So, don't worry, I'll work on new fics about them together! I already have an idea for a multi chapter fanfic. =)

Enjoy!

Now let's dive into the deep dark waters of Luka's feelings…

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**HOPE**

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"Far from the edge I'm going

I'm holding my last breath

So many left unsaid.

If you could only see me

I'm lying in your hands

You'll never understand…

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I can see you walking

I can hear you talking

But in the end

I'm alone again.

With my eyes of fire

Burning my desire

And in the end

I'm alone again…"

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I watch Yuki step outside into the far edge of the garden. He is looking for me, I can tell. His moves, his expression, his concern…I know them all, I know them so very well.

The cold pillar against my back feels cold…cold as my skin, cold as my whole being. Warm I am only when she is in my arms…when my soul becomes alive.

I stay still. My eyes follows Yuki's frame while he searches through the paths of green bushes and trees. His short hair is caressed by the wind and he gently brushes a lock of it away from his eyes. Soft, light hair…the same as before. The fair skin, the bright light-almond eyes, the sincere sweet smile… everything the same as before. Yuki…I know it's you…

I've waited for her for so long…patiently, painfully. A century of enduring loneliness, living only with her memory, contenting myself with what was left of her in me…her scent, her softness, her delicate frame, her sincere desire for me, the words of love I heard from her lips.

I've waited and waited, until the day she would be reborn. I lived only for her, for her happiness, to protect her, to give her peace of mind. My whole existence is based on her life… the reason why I still breathe, why I still walk this world, is her soul…her entirely, for which I fell in love.

Love…this human feeling so alien to me… so strange, so powerful. Something I am still learning to understand, something I, a Duras, dared to feel.

And so, finally, she was reborn. Not as she anymore but as a man. I was surprised; I felt straight away that something was off. But wasn't her gender change. That means little to a Duras. And I was sure he was the same person, it was her, I could feel…the same soul.

Something different, unpredictable had happened… it made my heart clench in pain. As he grew up I saw what it was.

Fear…something I had forgotten I could feel, returned strongly. Yuki didn't remember me… didn't remember anything from his past life. This new Yuki had completely forgotten about us.

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Her face from the past insists to appear in my mind's eye. My self-control risking to leave me. My mind plagued by this never ending question, why…why?

Ever since I've met her, ever since I've was allowed into her heart, I've always had the urge to reach out to her, to keep her close to me…close to my body and soul as long as I could.

That need didn't disappear and now even more than before, when I look at him…those same eyes…I ache with this urge, to touch his face, to caress his frame, to drink in his perfume, to devour his lips…in the same way I once did with his past self. I even border insanity for his acceptance.

But what if he also erased all his feelings for me? What if everything that was left for me is a life of sadness and lonesomeness, close to him but never, ever touching him again the way I used to do?

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I look up and see Yuki coming close to where I am silently watching him. Does he still did not notice me here? Will these shadows always surround me, never letting me see the light of her soul again?

Painful thoughts piercing me like daggers…but they also brought me a powerful resolve, a decision to watch over him even from afar. This Yuki is still my Yuki, my reason to be alive, the one I promised to be with always… the one I promised I would take into me all her pain, all her sorrows. For her…or for him now, I would do anything, I would risk everything to protect, to sooth his heart, to give him strength.

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"Luka...Luka…"

His voice brought me back. The sound of my name on his lips, the way he smiles when he says it…gave rise in me another very human feeling that I've just started to feel: hope.

Maybe something still lives deep inside his heart?

"Luka!"

Ah he found me!

I smiled softly, for I never really did, never had a reason to…until Yuki. With her I began to smile, in my own way…our way… that she understood perfectly.

"Yuki"

He greets me with a full bright smile that's only his. I recognize it. Her smile…still alive in him. My heart beats faster. Only Yuki could make me feel this way. Melt my ice cold heart into a new fully red and warm pulsing heart, telling me I'm still not dead.

Love… love for him.

Some things never change.

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END

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